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In today’s episode, I am so excited to share a conversation with my attachment style mentor and coach, Thais Gibson, the co-founder of the Personal Development School. Her work overlaps attachment trauma challenges with personal core wounds, limiting beliefs, and emotional patterns at the subconscious level. Her work has helped me find sustained confidence and blissful inner peace. It sounds so cheesy but it’s really true. Thais shares how she found attachment theory after doing a lot of personal growth and getting into a new relationship where old patterns started to rear up (sound familiar?!). We talk about how attachment theory overlaps other areas of our lives including our relationships to money, career, and spirituality. We then switch gears and talk about personality needs and why it’s so important to know them and share them. I know it sounds basic but this work has been so incredibly impactful on my own growth. We finish the episode with a rapid-fire round of sharing which attachment styles tend to show up in different types of careers. It’s a fun one. It was such an honor to have Thais on the show!
Byron Katie - The Work (free download)
Quotes from Thais Gibson:
Attachment trauma impacts most importantly, the relationship to ourselves.
We often don't recognize it but a lot of our [external] world is repeating over and over again in terms of our internal world.
Self-sabotage is when our conscious mind has one goal and our subconscious has another and then we see it as self-sabotage but it's actually a subconscious strategy to get different needs met than what our conscious mind intends.
When I see a couple historically I would never really look for what's your attachment style. I really find it fairly irrelevant. The big signifier I would always look for that was number one is are both people willing to do the work?
It doesn't matter what your attachment style is there's nothing to be ashamed of. You didn't raise your hand as a kid and be like hey mom and dad can you please give me these patterns so I can suffer for the next 10 years.
When we don't know what our needs are and we don't develop conscious strategies that we actually choose in our adult lives we have the strategies of children.
Our conscious mind cannot out will or overpower our subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind is still going to be the one running the show.