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Taryn Newton-Gill is a love guide, women’s empowerment coach, and founder of Truer Love where she uses attachment theory to help women learn to reparent themselves so that they may create more secure, loving, and lasting partnerships. In this episode, we get into all things attachment style. In particular, she talks about why anxious preoccupied people tend to identify as fearful-avoidant. It was fascinating to hear about the different behaviors that show up across the attachment spectrum including anxiety in dismissive avoidants and avoidance in anxious preoccupied. She shares her best tips on how to become securely attached and spoiler alert, it does NOT involve years of trauma work and therapy, it’s actually quite simple. We both share the amazing benefits and transformation we’ve experienced through healing our attachment styles. And Taryn makes this topic fun and approachable.
Book: Attached by Amir Levine
Take the Truer Love attachment style quiz: What's Your Relationship Attachment Style?
Quotes from Taryn Newton-Gill
“Secure essentially means that the person is comfortable, both giving and receiving love.”
“Communication in itself is an entire, you know, six-week client session for a lot of us learning to really honestly communicate can feel so painful and hard for a lot of people.”
“The more that you bring your needs up and take that risk of feeling afraid, really the more you're able to see if this person can meet them and if they can meet them, then they're worth keeping around.”
“Avoidant people have more anxiety about connecting than anxious people do.”
“Pets are a really good example of how we can learn to love securely because by and large, we are more forgiving of them when they mess up.”
“A lot of my work is around helping people feel more comfortable with vulnerability as the path to intimacy. Because to me that's where the real magic is, is when you can be vulnerable with someone and they use it as a kind of permission to be vulnerable themselves.”