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In today's episode, I share my story about healing the sacral wound. The journey has been more like a road trip with occasional ups and downs - like an endless spiral staircase, and I want to share with you how I found some peace after releasing the trauma.
I am surrounded and blown away by the number of women healing their sacral wounds right now. The #MeToo moment of 2016 acknowledged the first part of the process to name the trauma. It was a wonderful first step to come together and realize none of us are alone in this trauma. And none of this trauma is our fault. We did NOT ask for it. However, as my teacher Thais Gibson says, “you did not cause your trauma but you are responsible for healing it.”
My sacral wound healing started after my miscarriage in January. I felt like my pregnancy had stirred up so many emotions in my sacral chakra aka my womb space. I decided it was time to face the trauma I'd been carrying inside me my whole life, I went to see an EMDR therapist. EMDR therapy is like a power-wash for your subconscious. You get deeper into your trauma to ultimately release it at the end of the treatment.
While undergoing therapy, I realized that there was a deep-seated shame or guilt that I had been associating with my sexuality. I learned the need to be comfortable with my broad sexual spectrum and queer identity. Sex is as much about pleasure and consent as it is about choice. Pleasure is our divine right as humans - maybe even a means to connect with the divine.
Our sexual energy has direct links to our creativity as well. I noticed the same as I looked back across my days of trauma and abuse when I used to find my escape in ballet. Dancing helped me process my emotions, and that pushed me harder into the art.
Listen to the episode to learn more about other tools I used to heal the sacral wound including tinctures, herbal remedies, and community groups.
Thanks for your time tuning in to the episode!
Now, before you leave, I have exciting news to share with you today! I'm putting up a fantastic super-short meditation for all of you on my website. It's free and is called the Keep Calm and Carry On meditation. It's under 10 mins, so you can do a quickie! Click here to download.
Listen to my free Keep Calm and Carry On meditation @ www.sarahcohan.com/freetools
Join my mailing list for new upcoming workshops and offerings @ xo.sarahcohan.com
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Quotes from Sarah Cohan:
“We are absolutely responsible for healing our trauma. Because if we don't, then we are subconsciously reenacting and repeatedly projecting that trauma back out into the world. Healing the sacral wound is really healing, the deep sexual trauma that women have experienced in their lives, and I don't care who you are, you have likely experienced some of this trauma, because sex is weird and hard. And sex education, particularly in the United States is a little bit lacking to put it lightly.”
“No matter what you were doing, no matter what job you were trying to keep, no matter what career trajectory you wanted, or promotion you were seeking, you didn't ask for it. You didn't want it [trauma], and it is not your fault.”
“My whole life I have been attracted to men and women. But because of this early sexual experience, I was just so afraid of that truth, like so afraid of that truth, because it was attached to shame.”
“The funniest thing when we were getting to the core memory, like we were kind of wrapping up the session, my therapist asked me to release the hold this trauma has on me. It was the ultimate release. And I'm like crying and doing the hand tapping. And I'm just like - I'm not ready, who am I if I put this down, I have so much identity wrapped up into this. And she was so sweet. She's like, this is so common. A lot of people deal with this at this stage. And so I just ask you again to ask the trauma directly to release you. And I did.”
“Pleasure is your right. Pleasure is our divine right as humans, some people use pleasure to connect with the divine. I love that. I'm not there yet. Maybe it will be a year from now.”
“I think that accepting your sexuality, and realizing that the partner that you're with right now does not define your sexuality. The partner that you are sexually attracted to, does not define who or what type of person you want to be in a relationship with.”